I may go on a rampage today.

This picture adequately describes how I feel right now.

Warning: if you're offended by foul language, I'd stop reading today's post. (Sorry Mom)

So, for those of you don't follow my agonizingly trivial Twitter updates (click here) and don't know what's going on with me every second of every day, I thought I'd update you on how heinous my life is right now.

When I came back from fall break, I had a letter in my door stating they were going to start re-paneling my building. "The process should take about 3-4 weeks, and will work Monday-Saturday, 8-5." Now you can imagine this may be annoying to a normal human being. Let alone one with a dog, who sleeps until noon everyday, and whose day is absolutely ruined if she doesnt get enough sleep. It's like my drug. But I thought, maybe it won't be so bad.

WRONG

Those fuckers have been hammering away for 2 weeks now and looks like they barely have made any progress. I don't know how long this is going to take. I could deal with just the hammering, but Domer seems to think he needs to bark for 3 HOURS STRAIGHT every SINGLE MORNING. We are on the second floor and they walk around on their ladders and he sees them and it's creepy, I get it. But you'd think he'd be over it by now. I've tried everything. I take him outside to show him they are just doing their job. I sit with him and pet him and tell him it's okay. I cuss him the fuck out and tell him to shut up. It has worked off and on, until this morning, when one of them had climbed on my patio- I guess it is more stable than the ladder, who knew. Anyways, Domer was NOT a fan of this. He pretty much tried to eat the man through the door. Again, I tried to explain to him he wasn't going to break in and hurt us, but oddly enough logic seems to be lost on him. Actual conversation we had this morning:

"DOMER! SHUT THE FUCK UP. I FUCKING GET IT. IT'S ANNOYING. Do you know what makes it more annoying? Your cake ass barking non stop. MOMMY IS PISSED. THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BREAK IN, I PROMISE. So unless you want to move to the FUCKING POUND, SHUT THE HELL UP."- me

*Silence, until I walk in my room and shut the door...then...WOOF WOOF!"-Domer

Fuck. And the thing is, I don't have class every day til 1 or 2. So generally I sleep til noon, work out, go to class, come back around 5. Domer barks all morning which is putting me in the gym significantly earlier than I'd prefer to be, but whatever. The KICKER is, when I come home at 5, they are still pounding away, and he's sound asleep on the couch. OH NOW IT'S OKAY TO SLEEP, WHEN I'M GONE. ASSHOLE.

I realize other people my age have real relationship problems. Well this is mine. My live in boyfriend is pissing me off.

I may be more annoyed than usual today because last night we had tornado warnings. And I get that I joke about 99% of the time, but I for real am scared to death of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. I mean I am from tornado alley. That shit kills people where I'm from. So, last night, about 1230am, tornado warnings and sirens afloat. I could not have been more scared all alone in my apartment. I tried to go to a friends house but it was raining so hard I couldn't even walk outside- no way I could have driven. So, a night of stress and fear plus a morning of barking and hammering= don't fuck with me today.

Anyways. Maybe my heinous life has given you all a laugh today. However, if my sleep schedule continues at the level it is right now...be prepared to read a headline on CNN: "Sleep deprived law student, 24, shoots construction workers, then dog, then self. Leaves all personal items to Leonardo Dicaprio."

PS- on a funnier note- I have tried for a year now to resist Jersey Shore, but I have recently fell captive to it. I think the Situation is the sickest thing on earth, but he has a book coming out, and one of his quotes from it made me LAUGH OUT LOUD during my cloud of angry combative haze this morning. "God grant me the stamina to to satisfy hot girls, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference."-HAHAHAHAHA. Hate him. But hilarious.

Peace, Love and Leo,

MIMS